Confused, Musa criticized this action, as it seemed like an injustice towards people who readily did a favor for them. Assalamu alaikkum, I am a 23 year old woman. Since none of that happened, I ended up trying to quit alcohol cold turkey, several times, and trying to manage my addictions and substance use issues without professional help. They are undoubtedly guilty of murder and should be remembered as peddlers of death. I don’t think about drinking alcohol much anymore. Once the nikah is done , you are legally husband and wife and therefore can do everything what husband and wife do. I still have a long way to go though. If my parents were ok, I would have no problem with marrying a widow or divorced woman. I knew exactly where to go and what time they closed depending on what part of the area I was in. So I bought a lockbox, a pill minder, and pill pouches to organize things and it helped. When I met my future husband, I’d pushed all this down and forgotten it happened. Although I shouldnt have chatted with him in the 1st place, what is the most Islamic ally correct way to proceed from here? You must stay positive; you are just 24 and don't rush into things just because your friends are getting married. In their case, their duty was to speak out against this act of injustice. If not, I take steps to alleviate it. It took me two days to fully recover and sober up. Like all the way at the bottom. Friend’s porn addiction, how do I help her? But I don't want to leave my mother alone. Also I think it was silly that he made a move on her so soon when he barely even knows her. Hence, what is acceptable during that period between the nikah and the rukhsati is subject to the general culture, the culture of both families and the actual agreement between the two contracting parties. (Surat as-Sajdah 32:16) i dont want him to commit zina and i am not ready to have a child now. No I don't think the sister was shy she just needed time to connect with him and get to know him a little bit better because unfortunately she didn't get a chance to speak to him before marriage unlike most couples. In 2001, President George W. Bush decided to invade Iraq. Okay after a year of nikkah So when is valima done on the vidae day itself..? Halleemah Munoz, Educator, Atlanta, Georgia, We are not new to Islam. I was quite shocked after writing the contract when the Imam who also acted as my wali told us “everything is now halal”. People often tell someone like me to reach out for help when we’re struggling with mental ill health or having an addiction problem. All it takes is a small gift from a reader like you to keep us going, for just $2 / month. I didn’t seem to need any additional support. What should i do? How will i get an answer from Allah regarding this? being hereby exempted from loss or damage whatsoever caused. He kept his liquor in a cabinet on our entertainment center, right above his records. A sober network can also be helpful. It was such a nice feeling. Allah advises in Surat al-Araaf 7:56: I think this was irresponsible, even if unintentional. I drank until a trapdoor opened and all the contents of my stomach dropped out onto the floor; along with the bile and my guts. My nikaah is over. Secondly, you say, "I had an affair before my marriage." I am male and i had to convince my wife`s family for nikkah. “Rukhsati is absolutely culture, just like the Arab Walima…”. We may not be able to extinguish the ugly flames of racism worldwide, but we can start with ourselves. My long-term goal is to be a successful mentor for those with substance use disorders in our communities, particularly the youth and anyone dealing with trauma/anxiety. The Prophet (SAW) has taught us the best of deeds are those that done consistently, even if they are small. What constitutes consummation of marriage is an issue of minor dispute among scholars. Think of this as a receptions, usually with nice clothes, dancing (sometimes separated by gender or not at all) and food. –. This duty applied to the person despite the likelihood that such a course of action would have probably jeopardized their career or their life. By college, my narcolepsy got much more debilitating. I’m an African American Muslim and I grew up in the Washington, DC area. - Editor), I read ur situation.its more of a thing related with ur mind and you instead of your husband.yup,he may had shown too much urgency getting close to you,but he is ur husband.and u said u had an affair!well,you need to check urself and clean out urself instead of thinking ill about ur are a woman,a woman brings happiness in a man's life,and see what you have done for ur husband till now!you could have loved him,given respect to him instead of complaining about him.asking for duaa to be happy is not the solution.use ur mind Allah has given u.this is insane u didnt even tried to talk to ur husband.try to know him,get closer to will find peace and every happiness. This fear paralyzes Muslim engagement in the American political system. many people are carrying out nikah before walimah/arousi/rukhsati. May Allah give you ease sister, shower His mercy on you and your relatives and admit us all to Jannatul-Fidaus al-‘Alaa. If he was a congressman, he had a moral duty to vote against the war. But i dint get any love from him. There are also Afro-Latinos, Caribbean Muslims, etc. (Al-Tahaawi:Saheeh), "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good acts for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. From a technical Fiqhi perspective, when a man and woman have their nikah, kitab or marriage contract (different terms for the same practice) done Islamically they are considered a husband and wife. And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best. By that I mean it’s physically painful. I was a new muslim when I wrote my marriage contract. There was not even time for any sort of attraction or love to take place. However before the war, various politicians, pundits and opinion makers helped sell this unjust action to the people in order to gain their consent. Sometimes I’d keep the bags in my room. I still have scars on both arms. I think I should have been counseled by a licensed therapist and Imam, screened for mental health concerns and substance use disorders, and formally welcomed to a community. During beach week I drank until I passed out, but before I blacked out, I went canoeing at midnight. I’d finish a six-pack and shove the empty bottles into the bag hoping that somehow hid my ‘crime’. I didn’t know how to reach out for help. I am a 23 year old woman. Self-harm was something I indulged in when I needed help managing tough situations. In any case I was talking generally. The first few Ramadan’s were peaceful for me. I don’t feel compelled to buy anything at the moment. I’m 17 years old and I will be (Insha-allah) having my Nikah this December.

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